Every man is different and not every one of them cheat, but some do and the reasons vary.(Women also cheat, but that is for a different post). We can read in many publications that man is not hard-wired for monogamy, and his drive to “spread his seed” is extremely strong, so the urge must be controlled to a large extent while he is in a committed relationship. It’s not easy for him, but he can do it. When it comes to sex, most men need variety, visual stimulation, and a positive connection with their partner. But of these three needs, I believe the positive connection with their partner is the most important. Without that, it may be very tough indeed to proceed with intimacy. How does the positive connection get broken? Through any of the following:
- Lack of attention and interest in your partner
- Stress through nagging, mishandling of money
- Distrust without warrant
- Lack of faith in your partner or his decisions without warrant
- Taking your anger out on your partner over unrelated issues
- Failure to make time for your partner and intimacy
- Lack of respect for yourself (not taking care of yourself)=turnoff
- Lack of sex
So you see, having a positive connection with your partner is very important in keeping him around long-term. You need to pay attention to this part of your relationship. There are many things you can do to keep it fresh and alive. Recently, I did a survey of men around the world to get their reasons for cheating and what can be done about it, and I wrote a book about it. It was eye-opening and interesting to say the least! I hope you will check it out here.
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2 Responses
There’s something else quite remarkable going on behind all of that cheating . For the most part, men don’t cheat because they want to trade up for a younger, hotter, thinner, blonder babe than you. And even if craving better sex is a motivating factor for him, it’s still further down on the list than you’d ever imagine.
Hopefully, you will divulge your idea on this; elaborate. I’ve found that men who I know have cheated did it just out of the need for variety, i.e., “for a change of pace; something different.” Plus, they knew they could get away with it: it was done far away from the hometown, such as on a business trip.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment and I hope you’ll keep the discussion going…
–Barb