It sounds like you are having a hard time with dating and relationships. And it’s funny you should ask–I just published my new book on Amazon, answering this very question! To answer it, I’ll give you my introduction here for free, and then a link to my new book (the Kindle version is free until Dec. 1st 2020 at 11:59pm). Or, you could just take a shortcut and go to the book HERE. Here’s the introduction:
HOW LOW-QUALITY MEN FIND YOU AND SCREW UP YOUR LIFE
True or false:
You are a magnet for men who show up like Prince Charming, then treat you like dirt.
Well, you probably answered true (after all, you bought this book to solve this problem), but this is actually both true and false. It’s true because they find something about you that attracts them. But it’s also false because you aren’t intentionally saying to the universe, “Oh look! There’s a loser. Give me some of that!”
So then why does this keep happening to you? Is it the guy’s fault or yours? Actually, it’s both. Let me demonstrate why:
You are looking for Mr. Right in earnest. You want your knight in shining armor to come and sweep you off your feet and give you true love and commitment. You keep looking, waiting and hoping for a high-quality man to come along. He seems to be nowhere.
Instead, a certain common type of man—a low-quality man—will pop up when you’re looking for love. You don’t recognize him as low quality because he’s good at hiding his true colors and agenda. He wants a woman who’s easy to get, and one that easily caters to his needs. He wants control of you and your relationship with him. So, he finds you and tests the waters. He wants to find out how desperate you are for love, and how weak your backbone is. If your bar to entry is low, then you’re an easy target for him.
A guy who’s up to no good with you, though, will show you his “red flag” warnings through his actions and words as time goes on. These will annoy and worry you, but you want to give him the benefit of the doubt “for love,” and you want to be nice. You decide to be long-suffering and patient. Plus, you’re “in love,” so how could you leave him? He may stick around and continue to torture you if you allow it. And therein lies the problem: your reaction.
If you’re accepting bad behavior by sticking around, excusing it, etc., you’re telling the guy it’s okay with you, and he’ll continue to do it, as long as you let him. This is called “ignoring red flags.” Why do you do it? Any number of reasons, driven by your search for love, validation, and security: You want a boyfriend, just anyone; you think he’ll change if you love him harder; you don’t want to be alone; you don’t think you have any better options; you don’t make enough money to live on your own so you hope to be his roommate; maybe you’re just tired of dating and want to force this relationship into working out, etc.
So as you see, you go out into the world looking for love, carrying your baggage of insecurities and neediness. Mr. Low Quality goes out into the world looking for exactly your type—someone he can reel in and control and fill his needs. He’s picked up on your need for love, at any cost, and that’s a win-win for him.
He’ll quickly light the fire in the beginning, then when he knows you’re hooked, he’ll drop the hammer through manipulation and abuse of some kind. You let yourself fall in love with him, hoping the love is reciprocated, but it’s not. You hope he’ll change because of your love, but he won’t. He doesn’t want or need to. He knows what you want and he can keep dangling the carrot as long as you let him. In the end, you’re left lonely, depressed, and angry. That’s what it feels like to be in a relationship with a low-quality man. You don’t want that anymore. You want someone who’s going to truly love you and treat you right: a high-quality man.
So how do you get out of the low-quality man cycle and attract a high-quality man? Well, as the saying goes, “You can’t change another person’s behavior, you can only change your reaction.” To be able to change your reaction, you have to change some things about yourself.
Without getting into a lot of psychobabble about dysfunction, suffice it to say if you’re allowing yourself to be treated in a bad way, there are reasons deep within you that make that happen. You don’t have to dig deep into your past to create a better future where you won’t accept bad treatment. You can live and learn in the present, where you will open yourself up to the high-quality men that want to meet you and forge a wonderful lifetime relationship with you. You can do that now, and this book can help you!
Over the last fifteen years of personal development study and research, I have surveyed and interviewed hundreds of men, women, and couples about dating and relationships, and have journaled about my own experiences in low-quality dating and relationships. This has helped me learn how women get into relationships with low quality men and what they must do to be able to get out of them and call the shots in their own lives, including how to be strong enough to walk away, even if they feel “in love.”
The vast information I took in through the years was paramount in helping me produce my first book for women stuck in a particularly painful relationship situation: infidelity. That book, Men Tell All: Why We Cheat and What You Can Do About It (2014), was built around an anonymous survey of hundreds of men around the world, who told me that one of the main reasons they cheat is because the woman looks the other way. This is a sure sign she is not really in control of herself and her life and is accepting men of low quality to be her partners. From that survey and research, as well as from my own experiences with low-quality men, I gained insight into the 4 essentials that will give you the strength and tools you need to overcome this problem. That led me to write the book you’re currently reading: Attract a High-Quality Man: 4 Essential Tools That Help You Walk Away from Losers and Into the Arms of a Great Man!
If you read this book and do the exercises included, you will be well on your way to becoming a high-quality woman who deserves nothing but the best in her life partner. You won’t have to worry about being treated badly and staying with the wrong person, because after you learn and work on the 4 essentials, you can walk away knowing that:
- You aren’t the cause of bad behavior from a low-quality man, and you don’t have to take it.
- You are of high quality, and therefore, you know you deserve the best.
- You are in control of your own life, so you have enough resources (inside and out) to be able to support you on your journey to a happy life.
So, don’t waste any more time and tears on low-quality men who don’t care about anyone but themselves!
- Find out now what you need to learn so you can’t be lured into a relationship with a bad partner!
- Find out now what you need to do in order to attract a high-quality man!
When you have this information and have worked on the 4 essentials, you will be ready for true love with a high-quality man. Start sculpting a better you and your future today with the help of this book!
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Do you have a self-help question you wanted answered? Ask me at: barb at selfhelpfaq dot com (I wrote the address this way to deter spam bots)
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